All Types Of Ill Shit

“Lets have an underpants party”
haha

The difference between bees and wasps.

Bee: Hi there friend! How are you today? I'm just doing my job, pollinating flowers and all, no need to be afraid of me, I'm just happy I get to enjoy this wonderful weather with you.
Wasp: Oh hey motherfucker, wanna go? I swear I will kill any cunt stupid enough to get 3 feet near me, I can sting you, and it will be the nastiest feeling you've had in awhile. Buzz Buzz, asshole. Bet that hurts doesn't it? Stupid fuck.

We bought him a toy tank for his birthday. He likes sleeping in it.

Source:

lol when I met my best friend, he was shier than me

now I’m a jobless recluse and he’s married in Hawaii in the Air Force

lol

^^Dad

Dad: I just thought of something funny.
Me: what?
Dad: if my last name was Wong, and I got married, and had a boy, I'd name him White.
Me: White Wong?
Dad: No. Two Wongs does make a White. *TROLOLOLOLOLOLOL*
he's so proud of himself

Wanna LAUGH OUT LOUD?! Follow this blog.

(I work in a Coffee Shop. I was on break in the lobby when a couple walks in. Directly behind them is a cute little boy in Batman costume.)
Me: “Oh my God! It’s BATMAN!”
(The boy stops, strikes a pose and starts looking around menacingly. After a few seconds, he approaches the counter.)
Mother: “Jeff, would you like a chocolate milk?”
Boy: “I am not Jeff. I am The Batman.”
Mother: “The Batman, would you like a chocolate milk?”
Boy: “Yes. Yes, The Batman would.”
(The couple pays while the boy sits down with his chocolate milk. He keeps a stern look on his face as he sips the drink.)
Boy: *sips* “Gotham is safe.”